Heaven.. Hubcap Heaven

Bad news to find out that the rim on your car is cracked. Worse news is finding out how much the dealer wants to charge you to replace it. The service rep says I could try to find a wheel on Ebay. Ebay!! Dude, I don't have a car to drive around and you want me to shop on Ebay? Well maybe high level cognitive skills aren't needed to be a service rep. so I cut the guy some slack and take matters into my own hands. I found my wheel 25 miles away for a lot less than the dealer's price. Off I went to Hubcap Heaven to pick up my prize.

Standing there in HCH I was enveloped by visible layers of cigarette smoke oozing around the room. I looked around and wondered which would kill me first, the second hand smoke or a falling wheel. There were shelves 15 feet off the floor with wheels of all types on display. All I could think about was how this store would come apart in a 5.6 earthquake and how all the wheels would be launched off the shelves like bombs killing all smoking, snaggle-toothed men who stood beneath them.

Mr. Snaggle-tooth came around from behind the counter in a stiff peg leg limp. I was wondering where he was going to find my wheel when I noticed he was going for the.... ladder.
He climbed up slowly, his right leg bending at the knee while the left leg remained ridgid. He would step down on the ladder tread after he raised his hip high enough so that the left foot could reach the step. Up he went. His climbing looked painful. I nearly asked him how he had gotten hurt but thought against it. It could have been Vietnam, or maybe a motorcycle accident. He clearly was a fan of the Harley Davidson.. he had a Harley logo ring, belt buckle and there were leathers hanging near his chair. Odds were good that the leathers belonged to him as well.

By the time I finish scanning the room for my wheel while fanning the air to carve out a space with less smoke, "Snaggles" has found a wheel and is wrestling it into a graspable position with one hand. I quickly note my distance from the ladder and deem myself to be in a safe location should the worst occur. He comes down with the wheel and lifts it up onto the counter. Mission accomplished! He walks back stiffly to the cash register and smoldering cigarette as I examine the wheel on the counter. Wrong price... wrong part number... wrong wheel.
This time he doesn't climb the ladder for another wheel. Apparently the data base shows him he has a couple of wheels with this part number and the other wheel is out back. He returns with a reconditioned wheel in a box. As long as it is in round, I don't care. I pay and I leave with my wheel in a box.

Outside I breath in the fresh cool air and put the wheel in the truckbed behind the cab. All of a sudden I feel as though I am a parts delivery person.. next stop... Audi dealer.
I drive by the Krispy Kreme doughnut shop and consider buying a few doughnuts. I pass on the doughnuts because I have this vision of them floating in oil. Now there's a great supplier of oil for a bio-diesel fuel producer. Can you imagine driving down the road powered by oil used at a doughnut shop?...the cops wouldn't leave you alone!

Hubcap Heaven thanks for an interesting afternoon.



RockO said...

What the hell...why do I have to have hives to make a comment? :P

umm...what did I want to say...the whole got hives thing distracted me.

oh yes...I love crispy cream donuts and I miss them very much...you should send me some.

sounds like you had an interesting afternoon there at hubcap heaven...:)

Mallow said...

you should send me your snail mail address and I shall see how many preservative-laden doughnuts I can send.

Hives.. well, I wanted something different. Maybe I'll change it to something else- possibly distracting you even more :P