Roadmap for living

What better way to start the 2006 blogging season than to visit blogthings and find my roadmap to life? Afterall aren't there hundreds of thousands of people in the world floundering along, seeking out complicated answers to their problems when all along the answer could be right out there on the web? Consider the possibility that the meaning of life, or the secret to eternal youth could only be a mouse click away.

No real soul searching is complete without first visiting the underware oracle. Here is what the great UO had to say about me (few grammatical changes were made by yours truly):


You have a lucky pair of underwear and you wear them more than you should. You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.


Next exit on the self discovery highway: what kind of girl are you?. Just as a side note- I'm probably too old to be considered a "girl." Never mind the little details, I'll continue to let my youthful appearance fool everyone I meet.

Yep, the "C" word. No! not that "C" word- stop listening to so much rap! The career "C" word. Those of you who know me probably fell out of your chairs laughing when you saw the little career gal picture. It's okay I understand I thought it was funny too. Actually, I stood up and yelled STFU!! at the computer but quickly realized the oracle could not hear me. After regaining my composure I read what the great one had to say:
You may not be a CEO yet, but you're well on your way to success.
You take your career seriously, and you wouldn't stop working for any guy!
An independent woman, you pay for your own car, clothes, and housing.
And men appreciate that - at least, the ones as driven as you are.

After reading that I wanted to sing "R.E.S.P.E.C.T, find out what it means to me, ohhh-ohhh-ohhhh, sockittome, sockittome, sockittome, sockittome."

Instead of singing I found another oracle.


Ahh... that serene blue swirly.. it pulled me in.

You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!


Always a glutton for further distraction I decided I needed one more visit to the hallowed halls of blogthings.


I wondered if the soothsayers had advance warning of my arrival?
***You Are 40% Weird***


Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!


With that final insight, the heavy doors to the prognostatorium* smacked me in the butt as they closed with a thud. I scarcely noticed my backside getting whacked, for I was already working on a plan, and my head was swimming with revealing personal discoveries. It didn't matter that I hadn't found the answer to the meaning of life, or eternal youth. I knew I'd return to the decaying steps of the oracle's den in a few months time... but right now, time was running out! I had to hurry -I desperately needed to get to Victoria's Secret for a new pair of lucky underware.


I close the first post of 2006 by wishing my vast audience of 5 readers all the best wishes for the new year!
*Mallowsdada wordtionary© 2006
(above images are from blogthing. Artists unknown)

8 comments:

RockO said...

I went through I phase when I was taking all these crazy online tests....then I got pissed off cause I thought they were dumb...but now I am encouraged to go to all these sites and see what they say about me again...

damn you career women!

red again said...

I am such a glutton for distraction as well...actually more of a masochist.
Too funny.
I live for online tests.
Really. I do. They make me feel abnormally normal

Thanks for adding me to your links!

Mallow said...

Rocko.. the tests are dumb,and probably have some kind of 50/50 formula for creating the answers..but sometimes they actually come close to the truth which is why I thought to write this up.

Hi rubdown-
Thanks for the visit!
Yes these are (sometimes) "normal making" tests.. but as you can see I seem to test WEIRD more often than not-- I guess that makes me feel less than abnormally normal. :)

CN said...

mallow! happiest of new year tidings to you.. where you at, partner? missing you on the buzznet and on MSN. drop a line, won't you?

Susanne said...

Hi,

I like your blog!
I found your comment on my blog half an hour ago and after it I was reading your first January post - cause I am very curious...
Hey, it was really very refreshing...

I didn't do any online tests as far and it sounds so pretty crazy what they told you. I believe too that they can tell you sometimes things that come close to the truth - strange but true :-)

Hope you will keep coming back to my blog.

Susanne said...

...and please read my answer on my blog too. I always answer if someone is writing me!

oOo said...

Wow. 5 readers? Moving up in the world! :D

Mallow said...

Wow, who knew o0o?