A grocery-story

It was another kooky weekend at the store as usual. To spice things up a little bit our system went offline for awhile disabling the debit payment function. Everyone coming through my line took the glitch in stride and was cheerful in spite of the general slowdown the problem caused with our registers.

The parade of diverse personalities in the store is always amusing to me. I never thought about things like this when I was a shopper, but now that I work in a store I notice all the different ways people go about finding their groceries. For example, we have the High Maintenance shopper: this particular woman invariably comes in at 8:30 P.M. (after we have been wiped out by earlier crowds) and then whines to us that we don't have such and such cheese.. "every time I come here you are always out." Yesterday she needed organic broccoli florets "you don't have any in your frozen section." After spending 5 minutes in our freezer sans jacket, I found the case of broccoli and handed her a few bags. She excitedly pumped her fist in the air saying, "yes!"

She was happy. I was cold.

... And there were 3 bags of organic broccoli florets in the freezer section when I got there to restock.

Next come the File Cabinet shoppers, labeled for the way they like to rifle through the bread and bagged salads, as though they are looking for last year's income tax statement. File Cabinet shoppers often leave the products helter-skelter as though a tornado passed through the area. Fun!

My [ blank ]Sent Me With a List shoppers are often distinguished from other shoppers by the way they walk around as though lost in a corn maze, looking at their grocery list as if it were a compass, and frequently bumping into things/people because they are lost and looking at their list while walking. Approach MBSMWL's with care -they often startle easily but follow calmly when being led to the product they are looking for.

The Regulars are great shoppers. They know where everything is, they know the staff, they can help the My [blank] Sent Me With a List shoppers. They go in, get what they want, don't get upset if we are out of stock on an item (this goes along with being a regular) they say hi to us, and get out. Yippee!

Undecided shoppers cause snarls at the check out line as they ask you to check the price on certain items, then ponder whether or not they will be buying the product. Many Undecided shoppers push the envelope when it comes down to commitment to a purchase. All items will have been rung up and totaled, then they decide they DON'T want the item. Managers need to be summoned and voids are made. "Tick tock, tick, tock Clarice" ... I keep a fast pace here and you are throwing a wrench in my game.

Tell Me How To Bag It Yeah c'mon let's go -tell me where to put your eggs! I have fun with these people and tell them that I get my kicks putting their chips, berries, eggs and other crushables at the bottom of the bag. This usually causes them to stop back seat bagging and smile. Phew!

After 3 or 4 hours at the register I can't wait to get on the floor, away from the numbers and organize a section where the High Maintenance, File Cabinet shoppers who have bumped into the MBSMWL's and Undecided/Tell Me How To Bag It (bad combo.) have shopped. Really!


Rosie said...

I am the shopper with bad register fu. I try to choose a different register person each time to hide this unfortunate curse. So they don't see me in line and think, "Crap...now my register will go down." So far I've managed to escape detection. They haven't figured it out. I stop watches too.

Mallow said...

you'd have an okay time at my reg. I promise :)